“A thing of beauty is a joy forever”

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Its loveliness increases…..” I know that Keats wasn’t talking about wine, or indeed art, in Endymion – but he could have been, couldn’t he? The wine trade is fond of its suggested parallels with art, books such as: “The Art of wine”, “The Art and Science of Wine”, “The Winemaker’s Art”, all imply that an appreciation and understanding of both, are indicative of good taste. Add their respective histories together with the prefix “Fine” and who could argue? Is wine art, or artisanal – lets give it a little test.

“I know what I like and I like what I see”

This is art appreciation at its most basic. The enjoyment of looking at something, just for what it is, allows art to be easily assimilated into popular culture. Apply this to wine and we may say that many wine labels are aesthetically pleasing and that a great deal of wine is bought on the sight of the label alone.

wine labelTherefore it can be stated that both Titian’s “Venus of Urbino” and Some Young Punks “Passion has Red Lips” fit the statement. I am not dissing either when I say this.

Art has, at its most minimal, a four step programme, obviously there is a great deal more to art criticism than this, but we need speed and flow. Description: Stick to the facts, who made it, what is the subject, when was it made. Now we can enjoy it without context, to contextualize it more we need to ask how it was made. Analysis: We are still collecting facts, but now we must pay attention to the core elements such as line, shape, form, colour, texture, proportion, balance, rhythm, pattern, recognition. It is easy to apply this analysis to wine so I wont patronise you by pointing out which analytical elements could apply – see earlier post BLIC. Interpretation: What is happening, what is the artist trying to say? Be creative, don’t be afraid, this is the fun part. Judgement: Give an opinion, does the work, or wine, succeed or fail? Honesty is essential here, how to you feel about it and are you finished.

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“Our principal aim is to start a process of questioning”    John Berger

This is an oil painting, probably 19th century (you can tell by the uniforms) entitled ” Execution of the Emperor Maximilian”. The painting is in three distinct sections reading from left to right, three figures on the left, a group making up the central section and a figure on the right for compositional balance. Two of the figures on the left have dark skin, white shirts and no hats, the central figure has pale skin and is wearing a sombrero – we can safely assert – with reference to the painting’s title that this is Max.  The firing squad, making up the central third, have their backs to us – in homage to Goya’s “Third of May” – thereby ensuring their anonymity and absolving them from blame – they are the blunt instrument. The figure on the right is facing us and calmly loading his gun.

A little more info on the piece: Maximilian was a figurehead, in name only, of the Second Mexican Empire, and appointed by the Emperor of France Napoleon III. He was executed, along with two of his generals, when the French troops pulled out in 1866/7 – Manet painted it in 1868/9, after the fact. The controversial element is that not only was the execution seen as unjust, but could have been construed as murder. The figure on the right of the painting is a direct likeness of Napoleon III, inferring that it was he (by loading the gun) who sanctioned the death of Maximilian. We the viewers are culpable because we bear witness to this atrocity but do nothing.

Is it aesthetically pleasing? Probably not. Is it successful? Most certainly.

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This is a red Bordeaux, Ch Patache d’Aux, 2005. The label shows a disproportionately large black carriage or stagecoach (patache), drawn by three small white horses – in ancient Egyptian profile – stylised to imply six. The bottle is large, a double magnum, with two glasses – possibly Austrian (like Maximilian) – all are situated on a silver plated salver with a small corkscrew to the left. In the background there is a reproduction of a 16th century artwork, of Germanic origin, and a lamp with a base of Asian provenance. The wine in the bottle had a deep purple core showing minimal browning towards the rim. Dominated by Cabernet Sauvignon, at around 70%, the wine showed pronounced cassis fruit with some lighter hints of strawberry and cherry, wrapped in a light pullover – not cloak – of velvety oak (only 25 -35% of the barrels are new). It was judged an extremely attractive wine, ready to drink – if accompanied by food – with ripe and very accessible tannins. Well balanced and delicious – good rather than great – it is now sadly gone, only the bottle remains.

Aesthetically pleasing? Of course, its a great package. Successful? As a cru bourgeois definitely.

Where am I going with this? Much as I love art and wine I do not consider them synonymous. Some attributes may be considered similar, but art can reflect and bear witness to events, whereas wine may only accompany such events and serve as an aide memoire. Whilst I have talked of beauty, I have failed to mention further aesthetic criteria such as: truth, genius, civilisation, form, status and taste. Status and taste may certainly be applied to wine – the former is a prerequisite in wine snobbery, the latter is learned and remembered. This leaves connoisseurship, the specialist knowledge or training related to an understanding of taste, the word comes from the French word conoistre meaning “know”. When studying anything beyond a basic level, a specialist vocabulary and a deep knowledge are essential. These should never be used as a means to exclude others, after all, they may like what they see on the surface.

Incentive Clothing

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I am ever an advocate of well fitting clothes, but there are pitfalls. Avoid snug (see aurora sartorialis) or you will fall victim to that dread phenomenon, the desire to purchase incentive clothing.

Incentive clothes are clothes bought with the express desire to lose weight. You know the drill, you walk into a shop and pick up a range of stuff designed for a younger and slimmer you – perhaps this is how you see yourself, or imagine yourself to be. If I get these, you think, it will encourage me to lose weight.

If you lack a full length mirror, consider the following; the wrong collar size causes redness of the face, enhances the reptilian or old poultry effect of the neck and makes people think you are having a seizure.

The wrong shirt size just makes you appear fat, desperately unaware of moobage and, if combined with trousers of an inappropriate waistline, draws attention to the love handles (although these can balance the moobs giving a curvy and voluptuous silhouette).

A small jacket is not only tight under the arms, but places uncommon strain at the mid button , which , if expelled or propelled, may result in a lost eye and consequently a large insurance claim.

Shortness of trouser may be rectified in two ways: a) rub something sweet on your shoes in the hope that they will descend for something to eat, or b) stop getting your Mum to take them up (she will still be using a template from your teens) and go to a good alteration tailor.

Lastly, be realistic, if you enjoy food and wine ( the very slim dislike both) accept this fact gracefully –  buy clothes that fit and be prepared to reject that second helping.

“After the wines of summer have gone”

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The view from the window, the steel grey colour of the sky, the significant drop in temperature – summer has entered it’s dog days.

The colder mornings, cooler surf sessions and the loss of my beloved flip flops provide scant succour for summer lovers like Danny Zuko and I – we see the deadhead sticker on the Cadillac. But wait, the wines of autumn are here. I’ve got the top rolled back and the Wayfarers (with scarf, gloves and hat) on. Grab the corkscrew Danny, fire up the engine, its time for some red wine!

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Il Monello (the kid) is from the famous estate of Braida in Piedmont, and a little gem of a wine. 100% Barbera, aged for 12 months in French oak. Bright, cherry red in colour with a nose packed with smoke, liquorice and herbal scrub. Spicy and earthy with powerful, dark fruit on the mid-palate, balanced with chary, toasty oak and a tight acidic bite on the finish.

Poliziano’s, Rosso di Montalcino is a scrumptious blend of Sangiovese and Merlot (20%). Its not downgraded Vino Nobile, but a specific selection in its own right. Packed with cherries, berries and damsons, its crunchy, herby characteristics superbly complement the season. It just needs some simple food – the delicate balance of fruit, tannin and acidity making it a great lunchtime wine.

Barbi’s Morrellino di Scansano is softer still, Sangiovese and Merlot again, but with a more open structure than the Montalcino. Similar notes of herbs, tobacco and cherries on the nose, the palate is light, ripely tannic, and balanced with a fresh, nervy acidity which makes it a great partner for fish (yes, fish) dishes like Brodetto Alla Ravennate and Zuppa Di Cozze

Mazzei’s Ser Lapo is a magnificent Chianti Classico Riserva, and a wine for those colder autumn evenings. Bigger and more muscular than the others, with a rich, elegant, yet forceful character. This is a complex wine, so keep the food simple again – a good Bistecca Alla Fiorentina is an ideal accompaniment.

Seasonal Reads

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As the seasons change, so do my books. I get through a lot and am always loath to part with any, much to the VOR’s dismay. Piles of them accumulate all over the house, the bookshelves are full so they are sometimes stacked on the floor. I read more than one at a time, often having four on the go depending on mood  – and number of available bookmarks (I hate turned down corners). Summer’s are for fiction, Autumn and Winter non fiction. This is my Autumn collection.

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Blue Trees

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“In painting, space and form are not actual, but illusory. Painting, indeed, is essentially an art of illusion; and “pictorial science” is simply that accumulated knowledge which enables the painter to control this illusion, the illusion of forms in space” –Patrick Heron. Painter as Critic

“If you see a tree as blue, then make it blue” – Paul Gauguin.

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“The Turn of the Screw”

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Fiendishly clever isn’t it? A corkscrew that resembles a robot rabbit, comes in its own hutch, with additional accessories, and is yours free when you buy two cases of unspecified plonk. My father fell for this little introductory incentive, and was so thrilled with his new toy that he almost forgot how dreadful the wines were which accompanied it.

He gleefully demonstrated it at every opportunity, residents of the village – with nothing better to do – sat transfixed as he displayed his adroitness with first the foil cutter, then the bottle stand (my mother had to step in here), and finally, gripping the rabbit’s ears with one arthritic hand and the lever with the other, he executed the coup de grace – expelling the cork in one swift, brutal, and remarkably silent flourish.

Confronting his meagre audience, with a triumphant expression on his perspiring face, he breathlessly announced “Who wants a try” to which four adult males immediately responded. I don’t know if all four subscribed to the wine club’s offer – I suspect that they did – what I do know is that the robot rabbit lasted a week.

Rummaging through a kitchen drawer on a recent visit home – in a fruitless search for barbecue skewers – I came upon the remains of the rabbit’s shrine. The foil cutter lay neglected, its little wheels corroded and useless. The stainless steel stopper with double rubber rings lay nearby, next to a random selection of tarnished silver fish knives. The rabbit’s final resting place remains a mystery? My father has a new corkscrew now, a good old-fashioned waiter’s friend.

Winesday Week (she loves me)

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Wednesday is midweek, an ideal time for my wine of the week – Tinto da Anfora 2009 from Southern Portugal (Waitrose £9.40). I spend a lot of time in the Alentejano , it has some of the worlds loveliest surf breaks, outstanding sardines and anchovies and some fabulous red (and white) wines.

This is a deep coloured red, with a purple core and signs of ageing at the rim. The nose is primarily of damsons and blackcurrants, with underlying notes of spice, cloves, marzipan and just a twist of black pepper. The entry is open, warm and welcoming – like the locals – with a lush, mid-palate enlivened with some classy, vanilla oak. It finishes bone dry, without the merest whisper of residual sugar (most commercial wines are full of it – often up to 9 gpl) and handles its 14% alc with aplomb.

A blend of Aragonez, Trincadeira, Touriga Nacional and a splash of Cab Sauv (5%), the wine spends 12 months in oak barrels – not new – and is under the pre 2010 product label.

The temperature has plummeted here in the UK, and the cosy warmth of this wine is helping with my acclimatization.

Wineclubbing

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Me and my girl wineclubbing, nightclubbing, sealclubbing – come on sing a long!

A cornucopia of wine club literature is currently cascading, uninvited, through the door. Probably because I fall into a particular marketing bracket and appear on, bought in, lists as an alphabetical statistic. Plus, rather ruthlessly, there are only 104 shopping days till Christmas!

“How do you know this” – You may ask. Well, I used to write wine club copy in a former life. I tried to do it with a sense of humour – see below, but found that I could not marry the product of glorified gardening, made by passionate artisans, with a free clock radio.

“….In the cool of the morning, when the dew is still heavy on the earth, and the morning sun is vying for dominance with a large limpid moon, a hardy, yet merry, band of pickers descend on the vineyards to pluck the firm, plump fruits of the vine. These jovial vendangeurs are the eldest sons of generations of handlers of the golden secateurs, who lovingly and carefully tease the ripe berries into their panniers. Once picked, the berries are crushed beneath the delicate feet of former dancers of the Corps de Ballet…..” Alright, you’ve rumbled us! This is straightforward honest to goodness plonk for early drinking, at a not to be missed price.

Still with me?

Now I have nothing against wine clubs per se, but I do take umbrage at misleading and often bogus incentives. These are rife in the UK, and may exist for up to two weeks without legislation. You know the type of thing “Was £9.99, now only £3.99” Like **** it was! Where and when, you may ask, was it ever £9.99? It is £3.99 and tastes accordingly.

My other favourite is “Was £100 for 12 bottles now only £50”. “Save over £50 a case and get a free corkscrew” (bbq, wine glasses, clock radio). Now I know that most people are suckers for a free corkscrew, but come on – where do these wines come from and who makes them? Surprisingly, some do have known provenance and can be traced back to source, although others have rather dubious parentage.

Another ploy is to use a strapline from a famous wine writer, wine maker or vintage report, stating something along the lines of ” 2011 was a great vintage in the Rhone , the wines were sweet and ripe with excellent fruit and longevity”. This may not apply to the wine in your hands, but you are not going to send it back are you?

Despite the guaranteed refund – if it fails to satisfy, you are reluctant to pay the postage and you have already broken the free corkscrew.   And, more importantly you know a bargain when you see one – don’t you?

infografic courtesy of http://www.corksout.com/whats-in-your-bottle

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Aurora Sartorialis

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An aurora, or indeed aura, of sartorialism is endemic these days. Celebriania, fixes us with the atmospheric beam of consumeramania, it’s charged particles guiding us as rabbit disciples towards the next, new, look.

As someone who spends a great deal of time in t-shirts and flip-flops  – volcom and havaianas – at time of writing. I remain, as yet, unmoved by pectoral implants, eyebrow threading, Inquisitionistic hair removal techniques – I will not be drawn into detail – and the myriad preoccupations currently taxing the ever decreasing mind of metrosexual man.

But I would like to draw your attention, and concern, to one observation – “Your clothing is too tight sir”. We are currently gripped with an excessive desire to wear a younger – and considerably smaller and slimmer – mans clothes. Younger brothers regularly steal their older sibling’s kit, and I still have suits made for my father, uncle and grandfather, but now the roles are reversed. Imagine, if you dare, your own father donning his grandson’s clothing in an attempt to look like a member of One Dimension – no it is not a typo.

Get the picture, if not get a full length mirror! Tight clothes make you look fat, small clothes make you look poor or imply that you have failed to aquaint yourself with the cycles of your washing machine. Buy quality clothes that fit, they will last if you stay off the pies! My apologies to Mr Dermot O’Leary.

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11 o clock tick tock

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If there was ever a wine made for elevenses it’s Riesling. I don’t mean any old Riesling, I mean German Riesling.

If I am talking to wine folk, I apologise for preaching to the converted. If not, and you are new to such a wine, sort yourselves out! This is not the wine of doubtful quality doled out to old ladies at parties, but one of the finest expressions of the grape in the vinous pantheon. It could, without being humbly stated, lay substantial claim to being the world’s greatest white wine.

A combination of incredibly pure, primary fruit aromas (floral, honeyed and racily steely in its youth – morphing to secondary aromas of petrol and plasticine as it ages) married with a richness and complexity extraordinary in a wine of such low alcohol – between 7 and 10% abv – this is a wine of exceptional longevity.

High in extract, it’s residual sugars balanced with naturally high levels of tartaric acid, the examples of the cooler climate Mosel, Saar and Ruwer are perfect wines. If you are slightly afeared of residual sugar then seek out the drier trocken styles.