thesprezzaturist

~ "studied carelessness"

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Category Archives: Wine

“Don’t believe half of what you see and none of what you hear”

06 Wednesday Nov 2013

Posted by juleslewis in Wine

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BBC, BBC Watchdog, John Ruskin, Lou Reed, Morgan Stanley, Oz Clarke, Sainsbury, Tim Atkin, Wine, wine prices, wine quality

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This line from the late, great Lou Reed, aptly describes the two main wine stories of the past ten days. Both stories have been released via mainstream media – not the wine trade itself – and possess immediate appeal. Lets break it down: “Believe none of what you hear” –  the prophetic and potentially John Martinesque global shortage of wine (conveniently omitting stats for 2013) was raised by Morgan Stanley Australia, and pounced upon by the press. The second, highlighting the fluctuating discount/inflation policies adopted by the major UK supermarket chains, was initially brought to our attention by BBC Watchdog and the wine critic Oz Clarke. “Believe half of what you see”  – as there is no shortage of cheap wine on my dirty boulevard.

About a dozen years ago (when Lou and I were in our pomp) I was invited to a forum, by the then editor of Harpers, Tim Atkin, entitled “The Global Wine Surplus – Opportunity or Potential Nightmare?” –  no return to boom and bust to quote the remarkably elusive Gordon Brown. It wasn’t ironic, merely a genuine concern at the time. Interestingly, a certain Alan Cheesman (then director of wine at Sainsburys) was a panellist, the same Alan Cheesman who appears in the BBC watchdog episode – albeit in a retired capacity. He had this to say on the subject of the impending tsunami rolling across the global wine lake back in the day. ” I am not convinced it will materialise as quality wine” and warned that “Poorly made wine from any source will not benefit the consumer ….. long term reduced prices could destroy profit, the wine category and shareholder value”. Prophetic indeed, and as true now as then.

So, is the current practice of deep discounting and over inflation the result of a surplus or a shortage? Furthermore, is there a trend to chase volume or value? Lets dismiss the obvious vagaries of weather for the sake of argument. Global production can vary as much as 25% – in either direction – from one vintage to the next, but overall wine production has, in general, an accepted upward trend – particularly if new vineyard plantings are considered.

Wine prices in supermarkets do fluctuate, sometimes alarmingly so, but these fluctuations are in line with many other commodities – particularly furniture and clothing which, as we are all aware, may be manufactured both cheaply and unscrupulously – the VOR has assured me that she only buys clothing and shoes when on sale. Wine, over the years, has become cleaner and of mostly better quality, although we may legitimately complain of blandness, neutrality and an over reliance on unfermented sugar. But who is driving this trend – a global recession does not dictate a producer/supplier driven market – so is it a retailer/consumer conundrum?

The answer must be in the affirmative. Walk around the wine section of any supermarket and you will see a plethora of deals. I wont bore you with the detail, but suffice to say that whilst considerable marketing muscle is involved, the chains are merely giving the consumer what they want  – or indeed deserve.

With crippling energy and fuel prices, a global recession and pay freezes across most sectors, consumers have no choice but to save money where they can. Inevitably this falls on the weekly shop. Growing populations, poor weather and increasing demand for food have pushed prices up – but is this the same for wine?

Perhaps it is a question of education, think about it Dear Consumer, are you really getting value for money from those 3 for £10 deals?  The answer must be negative – but are you getting it for your £3 latte or cappuccino? A large latte at 2.85 contains just 10p worth of coffee, the remainder going on the cup, the stirrer, the premises, the staff and tax. The VOR routinely has two of these with the girls on a daily basis but baulks at the price of wine, and, being the holder of the family purse strings (I am a beta male) regularly subjects my sensitive palate to supermarket wine deals. Now a £4.99 bottle of wine equates to just 20 pence worth of quality, the same level as two lattes, but cheaper overall as you can share it – if its not too horrid. Consider also the price of a pint of beer at an average of £3.85 – a pound more than a latte but cheaper than a bottle of wine – and no you cannot share it! Conclusion, coffee is overpriced, beer about the same as some artisan bread, and a decent bottle of wine is almost impossible to find for less than £6.99.

So, while Lou sets the twilight reeling, I leave the last word to John Ruskin.

” It is unwise to pay too much, but it is worse to pay too little. When you pay too much, all that you lose is a little money. When you pay too little, you sometimes lose everything because the thing that you have bought is incapable of doing the thing that it was bought to do”

“The common law of business balance prohibits paying a little and getting a lot. If you deal with the lowest bidder, it is well to add something for the risk you run, if you do that you will usually find that you have enough to pay for something better”

Related articles

  • Supermarket wine sales: wine rack or wine racket? (theguardian.com)
  • Major supermarkets ‘ramp up wine prices to make offers look like bargain’ (telegraph.co.uk)
  • Have no fears about a world wine shortage – the glass is still half full (telegraph.co.uk)
  • Supermarkets ‘artificially inflating’ wine prices (thedrinksbusiness.com)

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“Oh for a beaker full of the warm South”

21 Monday Oct 2013

Posted by juleslewis in Wine

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

Alan Moorehead, Australia, Cabernet Franc, Cabernet Sauvignon, Keats, Oak (wine), Ripeness in viticulture, Robert Hughes, Shiraz, Wine

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I know its Keats again, but I am indebted to the late Robert Hughes for the reminder from “Things I didn’t know”. Necessity being the mother of invention, I needed a title to introduce this piece on Australian wine. Now I haven’t written anything remotely creative lately (apologies to my loyal, but miniscule, band of followers) as I have been building a website, the creation of which has been – in the words of another great Aussie, Alan Moorehead – akin to “straining s..t through a sock”. I am not a natural when it comes to web design and the stultifying ennui coupled with the wet and dreary climate finds me, like Keats, “in need of song and sunburnt mirth”.

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Its always a pleasure to drink big robust Aussie reds on a cold Autumn day and I may have killed two of them off a little early but hey, I needed cheering up. The Armagh Shiraz, Jim Barry, 2005, was intense on the nose, with cassis and blackberry fruit enveloped in rich, chocolate and liquorice with a lick of classy, new, French oak. I detected a touch of mintyness as well, but this was soon overpowered by a deep, toasty, overtone which followed through to the palate. Hugely concentrated with  intense, damson fruit, well integrated and surprisingly ripe tannins – despite all the new oak – and a finish that went on as long as the final hobbit hugging scene in Return of the King.

The Garlands Saros, 2003 was a complete counterpoint, and I should have tried it first as it was almost overpowered by the finish of the Armagh. Elegant in style with a nose of fresh, red berries and summer fruits together with a touch of earthy, green pepper, it was an absolute pleasure to drink. Lushly fruited – mainly Cabernet Franc with a judicious dash of Cabernet Sauvignon – with fine grained tannins and high quality, French oak adding to the warmly interesting and stylishly medium-bodied finish.

Henschke’s Hill of Grace is an absolute classic, and The 2004 was scrumptious. Personally I would rather kill wines off early than keep them until they are tired, but this could go on for another decade. Totally fabulous on the nose, a big, unashamed whiff of overripe, plums with traces of violets and herbal scrubland. Weighty, yet elegant, on the mid-palate with blackberry jam, spicy, white pepper and sage to the fore. Oak integration was very stylish and the combination of tightly grained French, with a little sweet American, rounded out and helped finish the wine beautifully. The alcohol level of 14% abv was almost imperceptible (unlike the Armagh) and the overall impression was one of concentration, intensity and class.

Some of you will notice that I began with a shot of one of Dave Powell’s wines, but the call of the website is too strong, and the family must be kept from the workhouse.

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“When I take my sugar to tea”

07 Monday Oct 2013

Posted by juleslewis in Wine

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Cleto Chiarli, Lambrusco, Michele Chiarlo, Niepoort, Tempranillo, Thelema, Tinta Amarela, Touriga Nacional, Wine

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“All the boys are jealous of me,

So I never take her where the gang goes

When I take my sugar to tea”

I’m a reluctant socialite. Like most men I hate arranging things, and if it were left up to me the VOR and I would probably seldom hobnob. My better half loves to plan however, most mornings are met with the words “Right Then” and I know there is a convivial campaign in the offing.

I always greet impending get togethers with a deep foreboding, particularly if they involve more than two other people. The irony is that I always have a great time – much to the VOR’s chagrin.

But socialising presents a perennial dilemma – particularly if I am not the host – and it is one which I am sure you are familiar.

When I take wines to a soiree, I normally want to drink them – or, having had them before – I want to share the love. Mein hosts however have other plans, they trouser said wines and serve their own! Now this is ok if their wines are any good but what if they are not? I don’t want to seem ungrateful but how does one preclude this from happening – particularly if they don’t run out of the stuff!

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Anyway here are some wines to stay in with, or hide in a garden.

The Vecchia Modena by Cantina Cleto Chiarli, is a premium Lambrusco di Sorbara non vintage. Fizzy, perky and fascinatingly fruity, it is the ideal way to kick off an evening. Don’t be afeared of fizzy reds, they are eccentric and delicious – just watch the pop as you get it out of the shrubbery.

Thelema Mountain Red  is much more interesting than its moniker. A blend of pretty much every red grape that can be found in a vineyard, this is full of spicy, blackcurrant fruit laced with white pepper and a touch of liquorice. Juicy and inviting on the nose and richly rewarding on the palate.

Dirk Niepoort’s Vertente is a blend of Tinta Roriz (Tempranillo), Touriga Franc, Tinta Amarela, and Touriga Nacional.  This fantastic little red has lush aromas of blackberry and damsons which follows through to the palate. Tannins are ripe and softly approachable. acidity is lively and there is a judicious splash of well integrated oak.

Last, but certainly not least, is the delicious little Moscato Nivole from Michele Chiarlo. I absolutely adore this wine, it comes in a 50cl bottle – just enough to share – and is an ideal pick me up. Lovely, lively, grapey and deeply energising, it’s off dry with a delicate, sherbety spritz. Coming in at a mere 5% alcohol, this could be uncorked to the sound of “Right Then”.

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“In praise of older wines”

01 Tuesday Oct 2013

Posted by juleslewis in Wine

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Aging of wine, Cote Rotie, Northern Rhone, Stephen Vizinczey, Syrah, Viognier, Wine, Wine color

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”Modern culture—American culture—glorifies the young; on the lost continent of old Europe it was the affair of the young man and his older mistress that had the glamour of perfection.”  Stephen Vizinczey.

Being young is beautiful, cool, invincible, immortal and fabulously exciting. Young red wines range from bright scarlet to deep purple in colour with little or no variation between the rim and core. Colour is derived from the grape skin, not the pulp, grape variety is a decisive factor, as are winemaking practices and PH. It is possible to over extract colour and flavour, but the resultant wine tends to be coarse and undrinkable – showing a marked reluctance to age gracefully. Older reds show a progressive shift from purple to brown and dark to light, their tannins and anthocyanins polymerise to form larger particles which fall out of the wine forming a sediment or deposit. A mature wine is lighter in colour with a distinctly tawny or brick red rim.

Appearance is not the only significant factor in the ageing process (note that I am avoiding a comparison with people here), there are also changes in aroma, taste, structure and body due to oxidation and esterification. There are many reasons why older is not necessarily wiser. Older wines are not easy to appreciate, lacking the zip, pizzazz and vigour of young wines they can seem, in essence, a bit weird. Difficult to understand, complex and reticent, their primary fruit aromas have been replaced by more reductive odours – redolent of the farmyard – brought about by chemical changes, tannins soften, fruit departs, acidity is the one true constant.

So why drink old wines? Don’t waste your money if you are not prepared for them. The ability of a taster to assess a wine as it ages, involves a big back catalogue of variable scenarios together with a damn good eye for detail. It also requires patience and a tendency to dislike instant gratification.

When I started drinking, alcopops and frozen or gelatinised ethanol did not exist. There was beer, cider, wine and whisky and they all took a bit of getting used to. You had to man up, pucker up and read up. You went to meet the product – it didn’t come to meet you! We are spoiled nowadays with clean, user friendly drinks that demand little of us, which is why we struggle to appreciate certain wines leaving them neglected and misunderstood. It is not only a fear of the old, but a fear of the unknown and consequently un-tasted.

The Côte Rôtie was from the excellent 1983 vintage. Fill level was good, cork sound with no seepage, although I was unfamiliar with the producer. Decanting avoided to preserve bouquet, it was poured carefully into the glass. Garnet in colour with a nose of mushrooms and delicate forest fruits, the wine was ethereal in structure, the robustness and fire of the Syrah’s youth well behind it. The delicacy and slight perfume may have come from the permitted addition of Viognier, although the actual cepage remained a mystery. It’s tannins had softened to a whisper, and the slightly nervous acidity was all that remained on the finish. Charming, a little fragile and past its best, but it did manage to tell a tale or two.

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“Love You Til Tuesday”

24 Tuesday Sep 2013

Posted by juleslewis in Wine

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Godello, Malolactic fermentation, Spain, Treixadura, Wine

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I have been guilty recently of eschewing white wines in favour of autumnal reds, but, would you believe it, along comes a burst of late, lukewarm sunshine and I backtrack. I have to tell you about this delectable little white, its from Spain (please don’t think that all Spanish whites taste like lemon tea aged in oak) and is made from a grape called Treixadura – the dominant vine in Spain’s Ribeiro region.

Hand picked, 100% Treixadura, cold soaked for 8 hours, then cool fermented in stainless steel for around two weeks. The grape is naturally low in acidity, so does not undergo a malolactic fermentation.

It’s forward on the nose, with apricot and citrus notes backed up with a rich, velvety, buttery character. On the palate it is full-bodied, creamy – without vanilla overtones, and shows substantial intensity and concentration. It lacks the nervy acidity of Godello (another great Spanish white grape) but has an underlying minerality which, to my mind at least, makes it more interesting. Finishing full and long, this is a great reflection of modern Spanish winemaking. Ready to drink now – although it may be interesting to check it out in another year – it should come in at between ten and twelve English pounds and is available from Enotria.

“Love you Til Tuesday” is a David Bowie song – in the Austin Powers mode – and I probably will love this wine until Wednesday at the very least.

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“A thing of beauty is a joy forever”

22 Sunday Sep 2013

Posted by juleslewis in Art, Wine

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Art History, Bordeaux, Cabernet Sauvignon, Manet, Titian, Venus of Urbino, Visual arts, Wine

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Its loveliness increases…..” I know that Keats wasn’t talking about wine, or indeed art, in Endymion – but he could have been, couldn’t he? The wine trade is fond of its suggested parallels with art, books such as: “The Art of wine”, “The Art and Science of Wine”, “The Winemaker’s Art”, all imply that an appreciation and understanding of both, are indicative of good taste. Add their respective histories together with the prefix “Fine” and who could argue? Is wine art, or artisanal – lets give it a little test.

“I know what I like and I like what I see”

This is art appreciation at its most basic. The enjoyment of looking at something, just for what it is, allows art to be easily assimilated into popular culture. Apply this to wine and we may say that many wine labels are aesthetically pleasing and that a great deal of wine is bought on the sight of the label alone.

wine labelTherefore it can be stated that both Titian’s “Venus of Urbino” and Some Young Punks “Passion has Red Lips” fit the statement. I am not dissing either when I say this.

Art has, at its most minimal, a four step programme, obviously there is a great deal more to art criticism than this, but we need speed and flow. Description: Stick to the facts, who made it, what is the subject, when was it made. Now we can enjoy it without context, to contextualize it more we need to ask how it was made. Analysis: We are still collecting facts, but now we must pay attention to the core elements such as line, shape, form, colour, texture, proportion, balance, rhythm, pattern, recognition. It is easy to apply this analysis to wine so I wont patronise you by pointing out which analytical elements could apply – see earlier post BLIC. Interpretation: What is happening, what is the artist trying to say? Be creative, don’t be afraid, this is the fun part. Judgement: Give an opinion, does the work, or wine, succeed or fail? Honesty is essential here, how to you feel about it and are you finished.

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“Our principal aim is to start a process of questioning”    John Berger

This is an oil painting, probably 19th century (you can tell by the uniforms) entitled ” Execution of the Emperor Maximilian”. The painting is in three distinct sections reading from left to right, three figures on the left, a group making up the central section and a figure on the right for compositional balance. Two of the figures on the left have dark skin, white shirts and no hats, the central figure has pale skin and is wearing a sombrero – we can safely assert – with reference to the painting’s title that this is Max.  The firing squad, making up the central third, have their backs to us – in homage to Goya’s “Third of May” – thereby ensuring their anonymity and absolving them from blame – they are the blunt instrument. The figure on the right is facing us and calmly loading his gun.

A little more info on the piece: Maximilian was a figurehead, in name only, of the Second Mexican Empire, and appointed by the Emperor of France Napoleon III. He was executed, along with two of his generals, when the French troops pulled out in 1866/7 – Manet painted it in 1868/9, after the fact. The controversial element is that not only was the execution seen as unjust, but could have been construed as murder. The figure on the right of the painting is a direct likeness of Napoleon III, inferring that it was he (by loading the gun) who sanctioned the death of Maximilian. We the viewers are culpable because we bear witness to this atrocity but do nothing.

Is it aesthetically pleasing? Probably not. Is it successful? Most certainly.

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This is a red Bordeaux, Ch Patache d’Aux, 2005. The label shows a disproportionately large black carriage or stagecoach (patache), drawn by three small white horses – in ancient Egyptian profile – stylised to imply six. The bottle is large, a double magnum, with two glasses – possibly Austrian (like Maximilian) – all are situated on a silver plated salver with a small corkscrew to the left. In the background there is a reproduction of a 16th century artwork, of Germanic origin, and a lamp with a base of Asian provenance. The wine in the bottle had a deep purple core showing minimal browning towards the rim. Dominated by Cabernet Sauvignon, at around 70%, the wine showed pronounced cassis fruit with some lighter hints of strawberry and cherry, wrapped in a light pullover – not cloak – of velvety oak (only 25 -35% of the barrels are new). It was judged an extremely attractive wine, ready to drink – if accompanied by food – with ripe and very accessible tannins. Well balanced and delicious – good rather than great – it is now sadly gone, only the bottle remains.

Aesthetically pleasing? Of course, its a great package. Successful? As a cru bourgeois definitely.

Where am I going with this? Much as I love art and wine I do not consider them synonymous. Some attributes may be considered similar, but art can reflect and bear witness to events, whereas wine may only accompany such events and serve as an aide memoire. Whilst I have talked of beauty, I have failed to mention further aesthetic criteria such as: truth, genius, civilisation, form, status and taste. Status and taste may certainly be applied to wine – the former is a prerequisite in wine snobbery, the latter is learned and remembered. This leaves connoisseurship, the specialist knowledge or training related to an understanding of taste, the word comes from the French word conoistre meaning “know”. When studying anything beyond a basic level, a specialist vocabulary and a deep knowledge are essential. These should never be used as a means to exclude others, after all, they may like what they see on the surface.

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“After the wines of summer have gone”

16 Monday Sep 2013

Posted by juleslewis in Wine

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Braida, Chianti, Fonterutoli, Merlot, Montalcino, Poliziano, Sangiovese

The view from the window, the steel grey colour of the sky, the significant drop in temperature – summer has entered it’s dog days.

The colder mornings, cooler surf sessions and the loss of my beloved flip flops provide scant succour for summer lovers like Danny Zuko and I – we see the deadhead sticker on the Cadillac. But wait, the wines of autumn are here. I’ve got the top rolled back and the Wayfarers (with scarf, gloves and hat) on. Grab the corkscrew Danny, fire up the engine, its time for some red wine!

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Il Monello (the kid) is from the famous estate of Braida in Piedmont, and a little gem of a wine. 100% Barbera, aged for 12 months in French oak. Bright, cherry red in colour with a nose packed with smoke, liquorice and herbal scrub. Spicy and earthy with powerful, dark fruit on the mid-palate, balanced with chary, toasty oak and a tight acidic bite on the finish.

Poliziano’s, Rosso di Montalcino is a scrumptious blend of Sangiovese and Merlot (20%). Its not downgraded Vino Nobile, but a specific selection in its own right. Packed with cherries, berries and damsons, its crunchy, herby characteristics superbly complement the season. It just needs some simple food – the delicate balance of fruit, tannin and acidity making it a great lunchtime wine.

Barbi’s Morrellino di Scansano is softer still, Sangiovese and Merlot again, but with a more open structure than the Montalcino. Similar notes of herbs, tobacco and cherries on the nose, the palate is light, ripely tannic, and balanced with a fresh, nervy acidity which makes it a great partner for fish (yes, fish) dishes like Brodetto Alla Ravennate and Zuppa Di Cozze. 

Mazzei’s Ser Lapo is a magnificent Chianti Classico Riserva, and a wine for those colder autumn evenings. Bigger and more muscular than the others, with a rich, elegant, yet forceful character. This is a complex wine, so keep the food simple again – a good Bistecca Alla Fiorentina is an ideal accompaniment.

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“The Turn of the Screw”

12 Thursday Sep 2013

Posted by juleslewis in Wine

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Corkscrew, Wine, Wine Club

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Fiendishly clever isn’t it? A corkscrew that resembles a robot rabbit, comes in its own hutch, with additional accessories, and is yours free when you buy two cases of unspecified plonk. My father fell for this little introductory incentive, and was so thrilled with his new toy that he almost forgot how dreadful the wines were which accompanied it.

He gleefully demonstrated it at every opportunity, residents of the village – with nothing better to do – sat transfixed as he displayed his adroitness with first the foil cutter, then the bottle stand (my mother had to step in here), and finally, gripping the rabbit’s ears with one arthritic hand and the lever with the other, he executed the coup de grace – expelling the cork in one swift, brutal, and remarkably silent flourish.

Confronting his meagre audience, with a triumphant expression on his perspiring face, he breathlessly announced “Who wants a try” to which four adult males immediately responded. I don’t know if all four subscribed to the wine club’s offer – I suspect that they did – what I do know is that the robot rabbit lasted a week.

Rummaging through a kitchen drawer on a recent visit home – in a fruitless search for barbecue skewers – I came upon the remains of the rabbit’s shrine. The foil cutter lay neglected, its little wheels corroded and useless. The stainless steel stopper with double rubber rings lay nearby, next to a random selection of tarnished silver fish knives. The rabbit’s final resting place remains a mystery? My father has a new corkscrew now, a good old-fashioned waiter’s friend.

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Winesday Week (she loves me)

11 Wednesday Sep 2013

Posted by juleslewis in Wine

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

Alentejano, Aragonez, Portugal, Touriga Nacional, Wine

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Wednesday is midweek, an ideal time for my wine of the week – Tinto da Anfora 2009 from Southern Portugal (Waitrose £9.40). I spend a lot of time in the Alentejano , it has some of the worlds loveliest surf breaks, outstanding sardines and anchovies and some fabulous red (and white) wines.

This is a deep coloured red, with a purple core and signs of ageing at the rim. The nose is primarily of damsons and blackcurrants, with underlying notes of spice, cloves, marzipan and just a twist of black pepper. The entry is open, warm and welcoming – like the locals – with a lush, mid-palate enlivened with some classy, vanilla oak. It finishes bone dry, without the merest whisper of residual sugar (most commercial wines are full of it – often up to 9 gpl) and handles its 14% alc with aplomb.

A blend of Aragonez, Trincadeira, Touriga Nacional and a splash of Cab Sauv (5%), the wine spends 12 months in oak barrels – not new – and is under the pre 2010 product label.

The temperature has plummeted here in the UK, and the cosy warmth of this wine is helping with my acclimatization.

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Wineclubbing

11 Wednesday Sep 2013

Posted by juleslewis in Wine

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Christmas, Shopping, Wine, Wine Club

Me and my girl wineclubbing, nightclubbing, sealclubbing – come on sing a long!

A cornucopia of wine club literature is currently cascading, uninvited, through the door. Probably because I fall into a particular marketing bracket and appear on, bought in, lists as an alphabetical statistic. Plus, rather ruthlessly, there are only 104 shopping days till Christmas!

“How do you know this” – You may ask. Well, I used to write wine club copy in a former life. I tried to do it with a sense of humour – see below, but found that I could not marry the product of glorified gardening, made by passionate artisans, with a free clock radio.

“….In the cool of the morning, when the dew is still heavy on the earth, and the morning sun is vying for dominance with a large limpid moon, a hardy, yet merry, band of pickers descend on the vineyards to pluck the firm, plump fruits of the vine. These jovial vendangeurs are the eldest sons of generations of handlers of the golden secateurs, who lovingly and carefully tease the ripe berries into their panniers. Once picked, the berries are crushed beneath the delicate feet of former dancers of the Corps de Ballet…..” Alright, you’ve rumbled us! This is straightforward honest to goodness plonk for early drinking, at a not to be missed price.

Still with me?

Now I have nothing against wine clubs per se, but I do take umbrage at misleading and often bogus incentives. These are rife in the UK, and may exist for up to two weeks without legislation. You know the type of thing “Was £9.99, now only £3.99” Like **** it was! Where and when, you may ask, was it ever £9.99? It is £3.99 and tastes accordingly.

My other favourite is “Was £100 for 12 bottles now only £50”. “Save over £50 a case and get a free corkscrew” (bbq, wine glasses, clock radio). Now I know that most people are suckers for a free corkscrew, but come on – where do these wines come from and who makes them? Surprisingly, some do have known provenance and can be traced back to source, although others have rather dubious parentage.

Another ploy is to use a strapline from a famous wine writer, wine maker or vintage report, stating something along the lines of ” 2011 was a great vintage in the Rhone , the wines were sweet and ripe with excellent fruit and longevity”. This may not apply to the wine in your hands, but you are not going to send it back are you?

Despite the guaranteed refund – if it fails to satisfy, you are reluctant to pay the postage and you have already broken the free corkscrew.   And, more importantly you know a bargain when you see one – don’t you?

infografic courtesy of http://www.corksout.com/whats-in-your-bottle

corks-out-infographic-4_99

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